The next morning they were still there–not much stronger, but still there. Our friends Anne and Aaron showed up around 8am. Aaron had some work to do on our farm and Anne was going to hang out with me for the day—little did she know what was in store! I had a lot of energy in the morning and felt like staying on the move. I made blackberry pancakes for breakfast and cleaned up around the kitchen. After breakfast I got together some laundry--sheets, towels, baby clothes--that needed extra dryer time for the birth. It was still early and I knew that there was a possibility that this might not be real labor, but my intuition was telling me to be ready. Okay, so the laundry was supposed to be ready two weeks ago, but I always thought there was plenty of time!

Anne and I had promised my almost-4-year-old daughter Deanna that the girls would dance on the deck (wouldn’t hurt to wiggle that baby around a little!) so we put on our dresses and the Grateful Dead CD. It was overcast and unusually pleasant, compared to the hot weather we’d been having lately. Deanna soon became very clingy and whiny—I believe she sensed that something different was happening today, perhaps combined with the effects of the blackberry pancakes wearing off! We went back inside to make some popsicles, and hey, let’s clean the fridge shelves while we’re at it! That was one last project I had wanted to do before the baby came.

I started to feel tired after the cleaning frenzy, even sleepy and a little nauseous. The guys were done working so the adults conferred on the plan for the rest of the day. My husband Pete was supposed to deliver some cedar trees to the Horse Park, but I didn’t want him gone that long. It was decided that Aaron would take our truck and drop off the cedar, and take Kelby (my almost-6-year-old son) and Deanna with them. I was glad that the kids were happy to go (a promise to stop at the playground helped!). It was about 1:30 in the afternoon and I called my midwife Candace just to let her know that the contractions were 5 minutes apart and steady and I thought something might be happening today. She said to call her when the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and 45-60 seconds long.

I went upstairs to rest, Pete joined me, and Anne went outside to read a book. I never slept, but when Pete started to fall asleep I decided to let him rest for a bit. After lying down it seemed to me that things had slowed down, so I wanted to get up and move around again. As soon as I did I had a stronger contraction than ever before, so I knew things were still happening!

By the time we came back downstairs it was around 4:00 pm. We had never had lunch and Pete was hungry, so he made some pasta salad. I tried to eat a bite but I really wasn’t into it. Anne suggested I spend some time on my hands and knees, to keep the baby turned the right way. The contractions were getting to the point where I didn’t want to talk during them, and when I started losing track of the timing Anne took over. I found that kneeling in front of the couch and leaning on some pillows on the couch was the easiest position to endure the contractions. With each one I focused on my breathing and on trying to relax the rest of my body, letting my uterus work where it needed to, “doing nothing extra”, as Anne says in yoga class. By about 4:30 they were coming every 2-3 minutes and lasting 40-50 seconds. I was handling them so well, though, it didn’t really occur to me to call Candace at that point, and neither Anne nor Pete felt the urgency to either. Also about then I noticed my first bloody show. I went upstairs to clean up and ended up staying there.

I was sitting on the floor below the step into our bedroom, leaning on pillows and the beanbag, while Anne and Pete put the plastic and clean sheets on the bed, brought the birthing kit upstairs, etc., getting things ready. We were joking and laughing and having fun, just the way I wanted it to be. By about 5:30 pm the contractions were still 2-3 minutes apart and about a minute long, and now they were starting to feel a little different. “Call Candace NOW” I said and Pete did, politely asking her to come on over, if she was ready, or wanted to, or whatever. I couldn’t believe he was being so casual about it, but was too busy concentrating on the contractions to complain. Anne picked up on my urgency and called her back to tell her to please come as quickly as she could. She never got Anne’s message, but did make record time anyway, thankfully.

Anne started filling the bathtub with hot water, and I think I started transition just about then. I was sitting on the floor now, with my feet tucked around each side of me. With each contraction I hung onto Pete around his neck. It felt good to pull on him and to feel his strength. It also felt good to start making some noise (yup, this is transition!). Three or four good grunts with each contraction and I didn’t even feel any pain anymore—just an amazing strength running through my body. I felt totally relaxed in between the contractions; I rocked back and forth and rubbed my belly. A cold cloth Anne put on the back of my neck felt really good too. I was glad she was there.

I asked how long it had been since we called Candace. I knew that the pushing would come soon and I really wanted her to be there for that! I decided to get into the tub at that point. All the birth stories I read said how wonderful the water felt and I was ready to give it a try. A little more cold water and the temperature was perfect (100 degrees). The water did feel good, but the contractions were so strong there didn’t seem to be a whole lot of time to enjoy it.

Soon after I got in the tub Candace pulled up—thank goodness! As soon as I saw her in the bathroom doorway I felt a “pop” inside me. “I think my water just broke.” It’s harder to tell when you’re sitting in water! I really felt like pushing but Candace told me to breathe since she wasn’t set up yet. It didn’t take her long, though, and she was next to the tub ready for my baby. I think it took 1 or 2 pushes to move him to the point where he was crowning. The hardest part was keeping him there. “Slow it down” Candace said as she stretched my skin around his head. “But I want my baby out NOW”, I was thinking, as I held back as best I could with lots of panting.

I was vaguely aware of who was in the room. Anne says my eyes were open but I wasn’t really seeing anything, just pretty much concentrating on my body and what Candace was saying. Aaron had arrived with the kids soon after Candace and they were ushered into the bathroom by Anne (thank goodness we have such a big bathroom!). Pete said “here are your other babies” and I was so glad they were there to see their brother being born. They were giggling with excitement. Candace told Pete to get ready because he was going to catch the baby. Another push—I couldn’t hold back any longer—and there was the head. I could feel everyone else’s excitement and energy and loved it. One more push and I knew our baby would be born. Finally, that feeling of ultimate relief with the birth of the body, and there was our baby Jonah, in Pete’s hands. Born at 6:37pm on July 14th. I think my total pushing time was 4 minutes, and most of that was trying not to push!

Pete put Jonah on my belly and I pulled him up to my chest and said hello to my new baby. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about the first time I held him and told him how happy I was that he was finally here. Candace put some towels over him; he was still half in the water and very toasty. He was still a little blue and didn’t cry, but he gave a little cough and I knew he was okay. Candace reassured us that he was just fine. Kelby kept asking me if it was a boy or a girl. I said “I’m going to look in a minute” as I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his beautiful face. Finally I peeked under the towel, and to no one’s surprise I announced “he’s a boy!” (we had had a very strong feeling he was a boy all along). Soon after, Candace helped me birth the placenta and she put it in a bowl and let it float in the water, still attached to Jonah, of course. I felt the cord pulsing and was glad we were not going to cut it right away.

After a little while Candace decided that Jonah needed to look pinker, so she picked him up and rubbed him on his back. That got him crying and he immediately turned pink all over. She handed him back to me (as soon as I held him he stopped crying) and said I could stay in the tub as long as I liked, just let her know when I wanted to get out. When I pulled Jonah to my breast to see if he would nurse he latched on right away. What a good boy!

When Candace finished putting away her supplies I let her know I was ready to get out of the tub. She wrapped up Jonah in dry towels and handed him to Pete. Clean-up is so easy when you’re already sitting in a bathtub! The other great part about a homebirth is that in less than 10 steps I was in my own bed with my baby Jonah. Candace and Allison (the midwife’s assistant) tidied up quickly, Anne put a movie on for the kids (the excitement of the new baby wore off pretty quickly), and Pete and I were left alone to savor our first moments with our new little baby boy. He was so alert and calm—due to the calm, gentle way he entered the world, we think. It was so amazing to lie there with our half-hour-old baby, in our own bed, staring at this little person who we had been waiting for 9 months to meet. It was so peaceful, so beautiful.

About an hour later (but it felt like minutes) Candace and Allison reappeared to do the newborn exam and check me out (I was feeling terrific and only had 2 small splits—no tears and not even much soreness). Pete and Kelby cut Jonah's cord together now that it had stopped pulsing. Jonah checked out perfect in every way and weighed in at 9 pounds even. Aaron had been cooking up a shrimp and veggie stir-fry and by 9:00 pm we were all ready to eat!

Eventually everyone said their good-byes and there we were, our new family of five. It had been a beautiful, perfect day; one of the best days of my entire life and I don’t think I would have changed a thing about it. (Well, okay. I would have called Candace a little sooner!) It had truly been a great birth. I gave thanks for a beautiful birth, healthy baby and wonderful family, and we all drifted off to sleep.

My advice to new moms:

I can’t say enough about how wonderful homebirth is. If it sounds scary to you, then maybe you don’t know enough about it. Read all you can…books, webpages, every birth story you can get your hands on. Soon you will realize that a homebirth is the safest, most natural birth you can have [for healthy moms with a full-term baby].

I also highly recommend homebirth if there are siblings old enough to know what is going on (3 years or older). I think that seeing their brother’s birth (as well as being part of every prenatal visit) has strengthened Kelby and Deanna’s bond to their baby brother in a way nothing else could. There has never been an inkling of jealousy towards him. Jonah is the family’s new baby, not some stranger Mom and Dad brought home from a hospital.

My advice about handling labor? This may sound strange…but I think you should have fun and enjoy it! Sure there’s some pain, but your body is equipped to handle it and being scared and uptight and serious about the whole thing is going to make it worse. Instruct your partner, doula, or whoever will be with you beforehand to keep the mood light—this is a very important responsibility on their part, not your job. Don’t be afraid to laugh! At least in the beginning; later on you’ll be doing some serious concentrating. Also, you need to have complete faith in your body and complete faith in your midwife or doctor. Your midwife/doctor needs to reassure you when everything is proceeding normally and naturally (especially if it’s your first baby) and you need to be able to trust them if they say that it’s not. But above all, trust yourself. Your own intuition is your most important guidance system through this wonderful journey of giving birth.

Probably the hardest thing to do, and the people around you should help you do this, is to keep focused on the end result: labor does not last forever, and one way or another you are going to have a baby at the end of it all!

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