We have three children. It is often said that a woman's first labor is long, her second labor is easy, and her third labor is unpredictable. Whoever said this must've been at my births because it mirrors my experience! What follows are my birth stories. I called the first one "Diary of a Primipara" (Primipara is a woman who is pregnant for the first time or who has borne just one child). By sharing my birth stories with you, I hope to inspire you to trust your body to birth your baby naturally--without any drugs or intervention.
Diary of a Primipara
April 4, 1999 One week to go until the official due date. The countdown begins, or should I say it continues. It's Easter Sunday and I have much life to celebrate with the little one moving inside me. I am very tired and hot during Sunday School and all I want to do is take my clothes off and go to bed. Todd takes one look at me and asks if I want to go home. Yes, I do. He stays at church and I go home to rest...The baby moves like crazy when I go to bed at night. I have weird pains–not contractions. Maybe gas, but I'm not sure. My belly feels very heavy and different when I get up to walk. Did the baby drop?
April 5 I am sluggish in the morning so I go back to bed. I am not motivated to do anything. When I do kegel exercises, it feels like I'm lifting weights–yes, the baby must've dropped. In the afternoon, I feel better and go shopping with a friends for flowers.
April 6 I see Nancy, my certified nurse midwife, and she confirms that the baby has dropped. She does an internal exam, and says my cervix is soft and dilated a fingertip. Nancy thinks I might have the baby this weekend. How can she say that? No one really can know for sure! Now I'll have my hopes up. She notices that I'm swollen and tells me that I should take my wedding ring off and put my feet up. I tell her I've been trying to get my ring off since Saturday night, but it's stuck....I feel pretty good today. I plant the flowers on the porch and go for a walk and take a cold bath afterwards. Then its off to Bradley® childbirth class–hopefully this will be our last week. I want this baby to come!
April 7 I type my address book into the computer–a project I've been meaning to do for a couple years. It didn't take too long–why didn't I do it sooner? I print out labels to make sending out birth announcements a little quicker. Todd goes to youth group without me. I just don't feel like being around all the kids and I want to stay by bathroom–I've been going all day plus I'm having more Braxton Hicks than usual....I check my suitcase that I'm taking to the hospital and put more things in it. I feel like tonight's the night. I make a sign that says, "Who are you, baby? Esme or Aleksandr?"
April 8 I'm still here. Last night wasn't the night after all. I had 4 contractions before falling asleep...I have a few more things on my to do list that I made out a while ago, so I tackle cleaning the fridge. Then I move some things around in the cupboards. Is this what everybody calls nesting?
April 9 I go grocery shopping and buy tons of cereal and frozen food; I feel like this is the last time I'll be shopping for awhile. I go home and try to rest but my mind is racing with things to do. I get up and plant more flowers. I wash a few windows. I see the car and figure I should wash those windows too. While in the car, I decide it needs vacuuming so I do that as well. By supper time, I'm feeling kinda queasy so I lie down and don't get up. I just feel like I'm going to throw up and eventually do. I hurl so bad that it splashes the walls in the bathroom. I go back to bed. I wake up about 1 am (like I always do) because I have to pee. I go back to bed, but run back to the bathroom. Diarrhea...my insides turn to liquid and I'm having a serious contraction. I feel better and return to bed. But there's another contraction and another. Not too bad, but I can't sleep. I get up and walk around and eat some crackers. The contractions continue. I lie down in the guest bedroom because I don't want to bother Todd. If this is it, I want him to get as much sleep as possible because I'll need him later. I look at the clock to time the contractions. They're pretty short and irregular. They're coming every 2-7 minutes and are only about 20-30 seconds long. I take a bath but can't really get comfortable in the tub. I go back to bed and think I'll wake up Todd around 8 am. The contractions continue...
About 5 am, they're getting painful enough that I'm starting to moan at the peaks. I decide to wake up Todd. I just can't be by myself anymore. We've been practicing relaxing almost every night together for three months–now is when I really need him to help me relax.
April 10 I lay down next to Todd and rub his back for awhile trying to wake him up gently. He doesn't think I'm in labor. He tells me to try and ignore the contractions. He asks me if I've eaten something, walked around, or taken a bath. I told him I already did all that and have been in labor four hours.
This is it!
Finally, he starts timing them and helping me to relax. At 7:30, we call the midwife and talk to her husband who's an OB. He says it sounds like I'm in labor and will probably have the baby today, but should stay home awhile longer.
That was a reality check for me. I realized my contractions weren't very long or strong after all. A couple hours later, Nancy calls to see how we're doing and asks if we want to go to the hospital. Not yet, we stay at home. Later, she calls again and asks the same thing. Todd helps me get dressed and loads the car. All I'm thinking is, if I'm dilated only 1, 2, or even 3 centimeters, I'm chucking the drug-free way and plugging into the epidural. I have 4 contractions in the car and I am not comfortable. When we get there, a nurse wheels me up to the maternity floor while Todd parks the car.
Nancy meets us at the hospital. I'm 6 centimeters dilated and 95% effaced. Praise the Lord! We had labored at home for 10 hours and had a lot to show for it. I had been praying for a short, easy, labor. We didn't get a short labor but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.
I lose all track of time. I lie in the side relaxation position and Todd rubs my legs because they really hurt. He's wonderful. He rubs my back and talks about the baby that's about to born. Freda, the labor nurse, says we're a great team, and wonders if Todd is a massage therapist. No, it's the Bradley® classes. (Thanks Leah!)
The contractions get harder and my moans turn to screams. Both Nancy and Freda think I'm in transition and want to check my cervix. At first I refuse but then I give in to their request. Seven centimeters. I'm very discouraged that we had been there so long and I had only dilated one centimeter, but they say I'm progressing fine. I don't believe them. Freda really encouraged me at this point since she had unmedicated births herself. She said if she could do it, I could do it too. Let's take one contraction at a time. Todd asks me if I want to get into the jacuzzi. I don't; I'm just so tired. But I do agree to walking around a little. The contractions are much harder standing up and I want to lie back down.
They check me again. I'm almost complete–there's only a lip of the cervix. They try moving it through a couple contractions. It won't budge. I'm stuck. I want to push, but they tell me not to, or I'll bruise my cervix. They suggest calling the doctor in to break my water. Eventually, I agree. But before the doc gets there, I'm complete. I can push now. The next contraction, my water breaks on its own.
I glance at the clock. It's 5:15. I wonder how long pushing will take. It takes me several contractions to get the hang of pushing and it's not very comfortable for me. Freda suggests lying on my left side and pulling my leg up. That's much easier for me and more effective also–until the baby starts turning and presses into my back. Ouch! I flip over onto my hands and knees (what a sight) and am able to get relief through 4 contractions, but then it's back to lying on my side. Nancy pushes my leg way back for me. I just can't do it myself; I'm so tired.
Finally the baby's head is in sight. It's time to assume the delivery position. They take the bottom part of the bed off and I scoot way down. Now both Nancy and Todd are pushing back my legs. The doctor arrives. Nancy tells me I'm going to tear and suggests an episiotomy. That was one thing I definitely didn't want. I would rather tear. I refuse. But they won't give up the idea. I give in after the doc says it would take a half hour off my pushing time. He says it will be just 1-3 more contractions. It takes two.
At 6:52 PM after 18 hours of labor, Todd, with tears in his eyes, watches Aleksandr Arthur be born. Dad is proud. He cuts the cord. He takes pictures. Aleksandr is lying on my chest. He's beautiful. It's over. We did it, and we did it the Bradley way–drug free (but not without a lot of moaning, screaming, and grunting). Yea. Now it's time to get stitched up–bring on the local. I'm a mommy. WOW. There's nothing like it. Alex is nursing. We call our parents to tell them about their first grandson. We didn't even know how much he weighs yet....8 pounds, 14 ounces, 22 inches long.
Caleb's Birth, February 10, 2001
Feb 9, 2001 I'm 38 weeks pregnant. It's about 8 PM and I'm watching TV. I'm tired, but going to bed doesn't seem right so I bounce on my birth ball for a couple hours and play Solitaire on the computer. I'm feeling kinda yucky so I take some Tums and go to bed. Thirty minutes later, a contraction awakens me. I suddenly realize I wasn't having indigestion; I had just been in early labor.
WOW. This is intense. I giggle at its strength. Very soon, I have another one. And another. I'm still giggling. I'm happy the baby is coming. I get up and put all our bags by the door. I pack snacks for 22 month old Alex. I lie down but I had felt better walking , so I get up again. I pace around our small house, pausing to lean on the couch or the wall when a contraction hits.
Pretty soon, I'm tired again. I haven't slept at all, so I lie down. But it's just not right. I can't get comfortable so I decide to get into the tub. I sink into the warmth of the water. Relaxing is so easy. I lie on my side with towels under my head and just let the contractions wash all over me as I think about my
cervix opening. I listen to Enya and imagine dancing and swaying. I put the hot water on a very slow drip, so the tub water doesn't get too cold.
Time doesn't matter. Just one contraction at a time. Then my arm starts to shake. I wonder why I'm shaking so soon. With Alex's birth, I didn't shake until very late in labor when perhaps 15 hours had passed. It's been less than 3 hours since my labor started. My contractions get harder and more intense. My thighs are cramping and I really need Todd to rub them for me. I don't want to get out of the tub. I don't want to call out to him because I'd more likely wake up my two year old than my husband.
Then Todd appears. Wonderful. He quickly assesses the situation and thinks I'm in early labor since it's only been a few hours. Another contraction overtakes me. My breathing is very fast because I'm working hard. I gasp at the peak since it's so strong. Todd told me that was a great Lamaze demonstration. He thinks I've forgotten what labor feels like since I'm acting so badly in early labor. My next contraction is worse. It feels like someone grabbed my cervix, pulled down and turned. Ouch. I tell Todd to call our midwife; it's time to leave for the hospital.
I get out of the tub, and ask Todd to please pack the car and call the babysitter. I want to leave as soon as I dry my hair and eat a frozen juice bar. During contractions, I bend over, moaning and swaying, ignoring the hairdryer buzzing and jumping on the counter because I didn't turn it off; my popsicle is sticking to the floor. I'm finally dressed and ready to go, but Todd hasn't done a thing. The bags are still sitting by the door, Alex is still in bed asleep, and the babysitter hasn't been called. I freak out. He doesn't want to leave yet because it's too soon. I told him to look at me not the clock. We need to get to the hospital. I go lie down and ask him to please do all this stuff.
Finally, he comes back about 20 minutes later. Todd wants to time contractions for an hour to see what's going on. I tell him if he doesn't take me to the hospital now, I would have an ambulance take me. He didn't want to leave too soon only to have to come back home. I didn't care if we had to return home. I just wanted to go now. Finally, we're in the car. Fortunately, my pains space out a little. When we get to our friend's house to drop off Alex, Todd parks in the street and saunters very slowly up to the door, leaving Alex and his things in the car. What is he thinking? He is obviously not in a hurry like I am. I see him talking in the foyer--small talk while I'm writhing in the car. Todd brings me a huge cup of water which I had asked for and I gulp it down. Finally, we're on our way again...
When I'm up in the labor and delivery room, the nurse asks me what I want to do. I want to pee and I want to be checked. But before I can go in the bathroom, a contraction hits. It's more than 2 minutes long; it's very intense, but not painful. I shake violently, occasionally letting out a moan....When the nurse checks my cervix, it seems to take her a long time. I can't see her face, but Todd can. He told me later that he thought something was wrong or that I hadn't started to dilate yet . Then my nurse said, "Honey, do you have the urge to push? Because you're complete!" Relief washed over me. Have you heard that your life can flash before your eyes if you're near death? Well, a host of potential delivery locations passed before my eyes and I was just grateful that I was in the hospital. (I'd like to plan a home birth someday, but I don't want to have an unplanned home or car birth). Again, my nurse asks me what I want to do. I tell her I want to wait for the urge to push. She thought that was a good idea since the midwife and doctor weren't even on their way yet.
The intervals between contractions space out. With each one, my urge to push grows. First, I just bear down a little, lifting my bottom off the bed. Before long, I'm pulling my knees way back and putting my chin on my chest. Todd is behind me and I'm leaning on him between contractions. I yell, "Where's Nancy, I'm pushing!" Moments later, she walks in.
After my next push, she suggests an episiotomy. I gave in the first time; I wasn't going through that painful healing again. "Don't bring those scissors near me," I snap. I ask her to tell me when to stop pushing; I want to take the time to stretch out my perineum. She told me I needed to push a little harder to bring the baby down. So I push harder and the head pops out. (So much for easing the baby out slowly) Then I push again, and the shoulders and the rest of the body are born. The baby is slippery, covered in vernix. I help catch him. I'm holding him close while Nancy tries to clamp the cord; it's very thick. Another son. Born after only 7 hours of labor. Caleb Daniel. 7 pounds 7 ounces. 20 3/4 inches long. Alex has a brother. Almost immediately, the placenta releases. I'm breastfeeding and getting stitched up.
Abigail Helene's Birth, February 26, 2003
At 34 weeks gestation, I had 2-3 contractions an hour all day long. A few days later at my prenatal visit, Katie, my certified nurse midwife, wanted to check my cervix to confirm the baby was head down since she was so low. I was 2 cm dilated. I continued to have occasional contractions for the next six weeks. I had not experienced prelabor at all with my first two pregnancies except the occasional Braxton Hicks while walking. So this was something new for me.
On a Tuesday night, my contractions started at 11 PM and quickly fell into a 4 minutes apart pattern. After an hour and a half, I called my husband Todd at work and asked him to come home. Then I got in the tub and labored there for a couple hours. We left for the hospital at 3 am. During my first contraction in the car, I moaned a little and after it was over, my boys ages 4 and 2, imitated me and started to hum. Even in my laboring state, I couldn't help laughing. They were so funny!
The labor nurse assigned to me was somewhat clueless. She was going to take me to my room when a contraction started so I just leaned on the counter and she wondered why I wasn't following her. Anita, my doula, had to explain to her I was having a contraction. Then later after getting settled into bed, the nurse asked me how long I had been shaking. I ignored her. She asked again. I still ignored her. She asked again. My nerves were frayed. I snapped, PLEASE don't talk to me while I'm having a contraction. Just a sec!"
When Katie, my CNM, arrived, she just sat next to me and started peeling the EFM (electronic fetal monitor) off me. How awesome is that?? I never saw the likes of that thing again. Hooray! Eventually, I stopped shaking and Katie said it was because I hadn't been relaxed. She checked my cervix and I was 6 cm dilated. Then a little while later, my labor really slowed down. So Todd and I walked the halls. I took a shower. Todd and Katie rubbed my feet to stimulate labor. I was having a light contraction every 20-30 minutes or so. We walked some more. I was tired. It was 7 am so I went back to bed. Almost immediately, my labor picked up and my contractions were once again four minutes apart. I was deep into Enya and my labor while Todd slept on the chair. I was glad I didn't need him so he could get some sleep. Occasionally, Deb, (my new and improved labor nurse) came to listen to the baby's heartbeat and check my blood pressure.
Two hours passed. I got up at 9 am because my contractions stopped again. By noon, I was beginning to wonder if we had done the wrong thing in coming to the hospital. Maybe I was still just having a lot of prelabor. (When I shared this with Todd, he said he didn't think we were going to make it to the hospital in time for the birth so he thought we did the right thing in coming to the hospital when we did based on the circumstances at the time) I was back to having 2-3 light contractions an hour. Ho hum. What to do??? I was thinking it, but Todd finally said it out loud. We were considering going back home or at least leaving the hospital for awhile. I really needed a change of scenery. I didn't want to be at the hospital if I wasn't in active labor.
Meanwhile, Katie kept busy. I kept hearing baby cries. When we arrived at 4 am, I was the only one there. Now the labor hall was full and babies were coming out left and right! When would it be my turn?
I talked to Deb, the labor nurse, and she said I'd need to go on the monitor for a half hour so they could document my stalled labor. Katie came in and we asked her about leaving. I asked her to check my cervix. I was 9 cm dilated. I freaked out. Here I was totally coherent, talking on the phone, eating turkey and gravy for lunch and 9 cm dilated. Which thing doesn't go with the others??
I changed my mind. I didn't want to leave the hospital when my cervix was so close to being completely dilated. Four hours passed. I had been considering AROM (artificial rupture of membranes) for awhile and Katie said she'd do whatever I wanted and listed a host of possibilities (none of which I wanted.) She broke my water. My cervix had closed a little bit; I was now at 8 cm. We waited and waited and waited. Nothing happened. Yikes. Did I do the wrong thing? Did I just put a needless time limit on the labor now that my water was broken? Approximately an hour and a half had passed since the AROM. I would have a strong contraction when the nurse checked Abby's heartbeat with the doppler, so we did that a little more often.
Then it happened. Transition happened, that is. You know what I'm talking about. No turning back now. Contractions were long and strong with no breaks in between. I don't know how much time elapsed. It could've been 20 minutes or perhaps only five minutes. But I had had enough and asked Katie to check my cervix and make me complete if I was almost there. That's exactly what she did. I'd have to say that was the worst part of my labor. She had her hand up me and I was lunging forward, screaming and gagging, (everyone thought I was going to throw up in her hair; I didn't, thankfully), yelling, "No Katie NO!" And she just yelled back, "PUSH. PUSH" So I pushed and then she was done. I was complete. Whew!
Katie told me to get on my hands and knees and push with the next contraction so my cervix wouldn't close back up. Abigail crowned very quickly. Katie poured olive oil on my perineum and did a lot of stretching. I followed her instructions as to when to hold off pushing. Deb was right beside helping me breathe and telling me when to push. Todd caught Abigail. In my hands and knees position, I couldn't see a thing except the wall. I thought she had already been born when it was just her head and I wanted to turn back over and sit down. (that head was such a tremendous release I didn't realize her body was still inside me). My second stage was 14 minutes. And third stage was quicker at 6 minutes. Katie asked me if I wanted to push the placenta out and I said no I wanted to wait for it to release on it's own. She said, "It already did; it's sitting right here. I know you don't want me to go in there and grab it--just give a little push!" Baby girl. Abigail Helene. 8 pounds, 1 1/2 ounces. 20 1/2 inches long. I'll always wonder when (and where) Abigail would've been born had we been at home when my labor stopped. We wouldn't have known I was 9 cm and I would've chalked all those hours of contractions to another round of prelabor.
THANKS FOR READING...
Well, if you've read this far, thanks for sticking with me. You persevered! Because I love pregnancy and labor and consider it a natural process, I teach natural childbirth classes. Visit my website for more information.
Read MARY'S BIRTH STORY, born November 13, 2004.
