The third trimester of my pregnancy was moving along pretty smoothly. With the exception of an itchy pregnancy rash, I was still comfortable and not yet anxious for birth to come right away. At my last doctor's appointment (week 39), I was offered a vaginal exam but declined. Again, I was in no hurry and felt that I'd learn soon enough when I was starting labor.
I had not experienced any Braxton Hicks contractions during the pregnancy and was a little anxious to know what contractions would feel like. I learned this in the early hours of Thursday March 2nd. I had several light contractions that were erratically spaced apart. I was excited enough to call my best friend, Stephanie, around 7am and tell her that maybe labor was beginning. But things stalled out by noon and Brian and I opted for a walk at the UK Arboretum followed by cinnamon pancakes at Bob Evans. We had a hearty dinner that night and I went to bed without thinking much more about labor, believing we'd have a long wait ahead of us before the real deal began.
I was awaked again in the early morning hours of Friday March 3rd by contractions (this was Jeremy's actual due date - what a timely little guy!). It was around 1:30am and this time they were a bit stronger and began to get steadier. Thinking back to my Bradley training, I knew that trying to sleep would be the best plan to keep up my strength for the long labor to come. I didn't track the contractions much and rested. Around 3:15am I felt something, ran to the bathroom, and expelled my mucus plug. I was excited to see this change and felt that labor was really here, but crawled back into bed to conserve my energy. I might mention that I was gently reporting these events to Brian (my spouse) and kept encouraging him to rest, believing he needed as much sleep as he could get. He did get a pad of paper to track the contractions, but I insisted on doing so on my own and told him to rest - that I'd really need him later in the process. The contractions were a bit stronger, but I could breath through them and this was the major coping technique that I used throughout. I also began to shiver a bit around this time, but was able to settle down. Around 5:30am I was up to the bathroom again realizing I was bleeding, i.e. bloody show. I was surprised to see bright red blood for the first time in so many months. I put on a pad and crawled back under the covers. During these hours the contractions spaced closer together and did get increasingly intense. I breathed through them and rested in between and this worked well enough. Finally, at 6:03am I had a major contraction that was followed by a rush of water onto my pad. I was pretty certain that my water broke, but shouldn't there have been more fluid? The pad saved my sheets, but left me wondering how much fluid I really lost. Nevertheless, I intuitively knew that it really was my water that had broken and I knew we needed to call Donna Miles, our doula, and get to the hospital.
I might have known that things were intensifying when I realized that I couldn't call Donna myself and asked Brian to do so for me. The contractions were steady, but still not the regular 5 minutes apart that we were told to watch for. Donna came over and quickly assessed that I was a lot further along in the labor than I or Brian realized. She was very calming and didn't alarm me with this information at all, instead encouraging me to get dressed and off to the hospital. I later learned that she was seeing signs of late stage labor and was actually concerned that I needed to get to the hospital right away. But I never once sensed panic or urgency and was truly in my own world at that point. I was in "Laborland" and could hardly focus on how things were really going.
The drive to the hospital was an intense blur with contractions coming regularly. We were in rush hour traffic as it was around 7:30am. We parked in the garage, with Donna parking right next to us, and the three of us walked up to the UK Birthing Center. When we got into the Center I asked Brian to get out our birth plan. I was concerned they would try and give me a standard IV when all I wanted was a heplock so that I could move around with greater ease. Unfortunately, my physician, Dr. Steven Wrightson, was out of town and I worried that we wouldn't have our request honored. This concern quickly faded because I became more overwhelmed by the concern that I needed to have a bowel movement immediately. I was sent into the triage room and as they set up a monitor for my contractions and one for the baby's heart rate, I continued to cry that I desperately needed to go to the bathroom. At this time, my contractions began to go off the charts. I felt like I was on a runaway train. I recall looking Donna in the eye and telling her I could NOT do this anymore. My mind was looking for meds. Little did I realize that I was in transition, the final and hardest stage of labor prior to pushing out the baby. Donna talked me through the contractions and I clung to her words and guided imagery desperately. Her reassurance kept me together through the hard contractions and the breaks in between. She also stepped out and informed the staff that I appeared to want to push. This got their attention and, after what felt like a very long wait, a resident came in to examine me. It was rapidly assessed that I was fully dilated and then they noticed meconium. Apparently our baby was frank breech, which completely shocked us. Two different physicians had examined me in the weeks prior and both concluded Jeremy was head down! Once I heard this information, I knew the writing was on the wall. Within seconds, I let go off my hope to birth naturally. I knew a C-section was required and quickly learned that it had to happen immediately, due to the rapid progression of my labor.
Because there was no time to set me up with an epidural, I was rushed into the OR for an emergency C-section under general anesthesia. This was the most chaotic part of the entire birth process. I was feeling such intense pain from the final transition of the labor and was still shocked to learn that I was fully dilated and going into surgery. I signed documents in a flurry and truly learned the meaning of having to let go of any sense of control over the process. I turned my trust over to the hospital staff, confident they would do all they could to ensure my and Jeremy's health and safety.
Jeremy was born at 8:55am. He weighed 8 pounds, and measured 20.5 inches. I am eternally grateful to have had Brian and Donna present, especially given the unfortunate turn of events. They were wonderful in sharing with me how the surgery went and how Jeremy was immediately cared for and placed in Brian's arms once he was delivered. Because I was under a general anesthetic, I was unconscious during the birth. But shortly after the surgery was completed, both Brian and Donna took turns visiting me and reassuring me about Jeremy's and my own health.
Once I was moved to my room, Jeremy was brought to me along with one of UK's most talented lactation consultants, Lynn Humkey. He latched onto my breast immediately and I cried tears of joy. He is such a beautiful, healthy baby and it was an enormous gift that the breastfeeding began so easily and smoothly, especially given the challenges surrounding the birth, in particular the anesthesia.
While this birth did not go as I hoped, I am grateful for my own and Jeremy's health. I am also proud that I was able to labor so well without intervention and allow the birth process to unfold for as long as I was able. Deep breathing techniques and a deep belief in the normal process of birth allowed for this. And while I didn't see the natural birth through, I know I would have if Jeremy had been in position (or if I'd been in a setting with practitioners familiar with delivering breech babies!). Together, Jeremy and I went from the extreme of natural childbirth up until the pushing stage to the other extreme of a high intervention cesarean birth. Going from one extreme to the other meant a slowed recovery for me. But I have turned the corner and am feeling much better. If another child comes along, a vaginal delivery is still by far my preference. We will know to insist on an ultrasound scan late in the pregnancy and, if this first run is any indication, be sure to head to our birthing place EARLY. All told, my active labor and delivery ran under 8 hours and could be even faster the next time around. It was the last thing we expected - having mentally prepared for a LONG first labor. I am grateful that it went as well as it could have. And I love what feels like an entirely new chapter of my life as mother to Jeremy. The learning continues for us all!