When I first became pregnant I started reading different books about childbirth and quickly decided that traditional techniques to manage labor pain did not make sense to me. At the time, I was doing a lot of yoga and the contrived breathing of most childbirth classes seemed like they would make me hyperventilate. The Bradley Method made the most sense to me – deep breathing, using my husband as a "coach" and lots of practice with various ways to manage pain. I wasn't sure I would be able to endure the pain to have a drug free birth but knew from friends that pain medication and epidurals did not always work and often had problematic side effects. I wanted more skills to manage the pain but wasn't committed to natural childbirth yet. As I started Bradley classes and learned more information about drugs, epidurals and their impact during delivery I became convinced that natural childbirth was best but I doubted my ability to endure the pain. My midwife, Beth Broderson, was great. She listened to my fears but firmly told me I could do it -- but if I chose not to that was okay.

My due date was Sunday, December 2nd. On Sunday night my husband, Dan, worked late and went to the grocery to stock up on food. Around 11 pm I was lying on the couch and felt a pop inside -- then a trickle of water. I knew my baby's head was engaged so my water would not gush out. I also knew labor could still be a while. Around midnight Dan came home and I started to pass the mucous plug. We both knew this was it. I had a few very mild contractions so we decided to go to bed and rest while we could. I slept for an hour or so but was restless after that. Passing the mucous plug was messy and the contractions were picking up in intensity. While Dan slept, I went to the bathroom to sit backwards on the toilet and start timing the contractions. At some point the pain led me to be unable to time anything so I woke Dan up. The contractions were exactly 60 seconds long and about 4 minutes apart. Dan called the doctor's office around 4 am and Dr. Butler said we should come on in. I heard Dan calmly explaining we lived in the country and it would be about 45 minutes before we could get there. After Jed was born, Dr. Butler came to visit me and said that made him nervous and he tried to convey to Dan to come SOON. I had to laugh because that's my husband -- very laid back. While I got dressed and put the last few items in my suitcase, Dan started to pack, straightened the house, got the garbage together, etc. Finally, we left.

When we arrived at St. Joe's East around 6 am, I was frustrated the nurse wouldn't let me walk to the labor room. Sitting in the wheel chair made it harder to bear the contractions. I was disappointed to find out I was between 2-3 centimeters dilated. I knew I shouldn't pay much attention to that but couldn't help it. By this time the pain was pretty intense and my husband struggled to soothe me. I remember the only place he could touch me that was comfortable was on my hands. The fetal monitor showed a declining heart beat during contractions so I was told I had to stay in bed until it stabilized. It never did so I spent the rest of my labor flopping from side to side. It was pretty miserable. At some point I told Dan the pain wasn't worth it and I wanted medication. When I asked the nurse what the potential side effects were from the medication she said none. This was a red flag to me – I knew this wasn't true. Dan was great -- he suggested I wait for my midwife, Beth, to arrive so I could talk to her about it and I reluctantly agreed. In the meantime I instructed the nurse to start a fluid bag in preparation for an epidural. I knew one couldn't be administered until I had a bag of fluid in me and wanted everything ready when Beth arrived. She arrived sometime around 8:30 am and calmly told me the pros and cons of the medication. The risk was lowered respiration for the baby -- since this was already a concern I knew I couldn't add to that risk. And I must have had a bad stick from the IV needle because the fluid bag didn't finish before I delivered Jed. So, no epidural for me. By then I was between 5-6 centimeters dilated. The pain led me to turn so far inward that I wasn't aware of much at that point. Then I remember Dan sounding very far away saying "She's coming back" and I felt like I returned to my body. Beth checked me again and told the nurse in surprise "She's at 8." This was a turning point for me. 8 centimeters was my barometer for no epidural or pain medications. I knew I could do it at that point.

My transition was not what I expected. I felt very grounded and the "turning inward" I experienced earlier disappeared. The contractions were hard but they spaced out so Dan and I had time to talk between them. I quickly dilated to 10 centimeters and the nurse said I could push. I was between contractions and felt no urge to push so I said I would wait. After a while it seemed like I should be doing something so I decided to give pushing a try. Strangely, I never felt an urge to push at all. Pushing wasn't what I expected, either. I had the same painful contractions but now people expected me to do something while I had them. And Jed's erratic heart rate became more erratic as the contractions came closer together again. At one point Beth said "This baby needs to come out NOW." During one contraction I broke down crying, saying I couldn't do it anymore. Beth caught my eye and said "Yes you can." I opened my mouth to argue but she held my gaze and said "You can do it for your baby." That shut me up -- what else could I say to that? So I pushed. I was lucky -- I only pushed for 20 or 30 minutes before Jed came out. It was 10:56 am. As soon as he came out I knew he was fine because Beth commented that he was already "pinking up." He came out clutching the umbilical cord. Apparently during contractions he would grasp it, cutting off his oxygen supply. Everything checked out fine. One of my fondest memories is seeing Dan next to the nurses watching them checking Jed out. When they finished and swaddled Jed the nurse asked who should hold him first. I know this sounds presumptuous but I think my greatest gift to Dan was letting him hold Jed first. After a while the nurse asked me if I wanted to try nursing -- Jed latched on right away and nursed every 2 hours around the clock for the next 6 weeks. He's never been shy about making sure his needs are met!

I learned a lot from this birth experience. Things I was proud of and things I would do differently. I'm incredibly grateful for Beth's presence. I was amazed I was able to have Jed without medication and underestimated how determined I can be. I firmly believe if I had an epidural or any other pain medication I would not have been able to push Jed out so efficiently and I probably would have ended up with an emergency c-section. My recovery was quick -- I was able to walk to the bathroom shortly after delivery and my baby was healthy. When I look back on Jed's birth, I feel satisfied and very lucky.

Read about Melinda's second birth--Casey's story.

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